Thursday, November 29, 2018

GPD Pocket 2

i have owned the gpd pocket 2 for about a month now and it's holding up well for what I use it for. the portability is worth it and is what i was mainly after. my coworker also funded one and has used it for work purposes, and so far it's great. some applications require you modify the display scaling; that is the only issue were having, but otherwise it is performing to both of our expectations.

the keyboard was something to adjust to. i type pretty good on it despite it being so small. the layout is miles ahead compared to the original gpd pocket. it's also worth mentioning that since the pocket 1 came out, it seems that there have been other chinese-based companies releasing their own take on the UMPC, in some instances, copying the original pocket 1 specs (seeing a similar trend with the pocket 2 with the one mix yoga 2). the keyboards on these other units are terrible, using half sized keys for certain keys. 

because it's so small, you can use it for some cheap emulators and pair a bluetooth controller to it. it uses the same processor as my other laptop, but has better integrated gpu. it handled darkplaces on highest settings with minimal issue, though it plays better when you turn the lighting to high. ive seen someone play doom 2016 on it decently, so it should be able to handle some recent games to some degree.

here's some items to compare sizing to. it literally fits in your pocket and doesn't feel super awkward. i inadvertently tested this by going to various stores one day looking for the best possible sleeve solution to prevent any scratches/damage during transport. 


ive finally found it after 20 something years

Finally found this...I remember hearing this song on the radio when I was a young kid. The female backing vocals somehow stuck with me. I think they make the song that much better.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Saturday, November 10, 2018

social anxiety and some notes on how its fucked me

my brain is shot. i have social anxiety and after sitting here thinking about it all, its really taken a hit on me. i decided to look it up and after reading up on it, i appear to fit all of the criteria. one symptom mentioned is being introduced to other people. at work, every new coworker i have had, i have been very quick and dismissive of them initially, because it made me feel uncomfortable. the whole interaction, not so much the person. after a few weeks of getting to know them though, everything is alright.

i have a hard time meeting new people because of this. i dont have many people i can call a friend that live here, nor do i know any like-minded musicians that i can play music with. meeting new people and introducing myself always makes me nervous. at CANASA, i really tried my hardest to talk to the representitives there. i was successful i think. but it was a really hard pill to swallow given how many people were in attendance. i try to go out every so often where people are so maybe i can get over this in some aspect.

i am always critical about myself, and i fear the worst in any situation. i worry about how my actions or thoughts may affect others tremendously, even though it may not be a big deal on the other side. it affects me so much that i avoid the largest social media platform all together. sometimes i will go to extreme measures to avoid people that i see in public just so i dont have to have a conversation. its super dickish of me to do that, but i think im a boring conversational person anyways so im really saving you time too.

i feel stressed out about work currently, trying to finish a huge project. and we are in a great position but i feel to my peers that its not good enough. speaking of work, it also affects my attitude towards everyone there. there will be a week or a few days here and there where i just come in and im a huge asshole to everyone. i think its the stress of interacting with them as well. it not good for anyone because it makes the work environment totally toxic. the other day i left the job site early and went straight home because i was so pissed off at everything.

i fucking hate myself.